The Way We See Others Changes Everything

Have you ever noticed how the way someone talks about a person can shape your whole view of them?

This thought came to me again recently during a tough week with my friend Joe. Initially, his quirks really bothered me, and I found myself focusing on the negative aspects, and wanting to tell others about it.

But everything changed after a conversation revealed the struggles Joe was facing, shifting my view from annoyance to empathy.

It was a great reminder of how a simple shift from judging to being curious can transform our connections - a lesson my friend Tex taught me many years ago.

Listen as I share the full story of my “aha” moment and as I reflect on the amazing way Tex framed his introduction of others - what a great re-learning this was for me!

Resources:

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Transcript

Hello and welcome to another episode of The Profit Builder Unscripted.

If you're hiring new team members or embarking on something new in your life, this is an episode you absolutely want to listen to. All right, let's jump in.

I used to have this friend, Tex. Every time I was around him in a professional setting, he would introduce me to others in the most remarkable way. He always spoke with such kindness and admiration about who I was, what I did, and the difference I made in the world. Even just listening to Tex, I would feel better about myself—I’d feel like a better human being.

What I noticed was that he did this with everyone. When Tex introduced someone, he would highlight the best in them, speaking to their strengths and unique qualities. I realized that the way he spoke about others shaped my perception of them. If he described someone as highly competent, intelligent, or thoughtful, I found myself seeing them through that lens. His words influenced my assumptions and interactions with them.

I loved that about him. It stuck with me over the years—how the way we frame people impacts how others see them. Do we focus on what’s wrong or what’s wonderful about someone?

Recently, I had an experience that reminded me of this lesson. A couple of weeks ago, I was spending time with a friend—we’ll call him Joe. I’ve known Joe for a long time, and while I usually let his quirks roll off my back, that week, I found myself feeling irritated. I kept noticing all the things about him that I found frustrating.

A few days later, I was talking with another friend, Andrew, and I shared my thoughts about Joe. Andrew listened and then said, “I hear you, but let me tell you what’s been going on in Joe’s life.” He proceeded to describe some struggles and challenges Joe was facing—things I had no idea about. Suddenly, my view of Joe shifted.

I realized that my judgments were based on limited information. Instead of being curious about why Joe was acting the way he was, I had jumped to conclusions. This conversation with Andrew reminded me how often we make assessments about people without fully understanding their circumstances.

How often do we judge, criticize, or assume we know what’s going on with someone without stopping to ask questions? I realized I had fallen into that trap. Instead of leading with curiosity, I had led with judgment.

From that moment on, I started engaging with Joe differently. I didn’t need to ask him personal questions or pry into his struggles, but I could offer more compassion. I could be more patient and supportive, simply letting him know he wasn’t alone.

Let’s be honest—we can all tell when someone is judging us. When we sense disapproval, it affects how we show up in that relationship. I’m sure Joe picked up on my frustration. But by shifting my perspective, I could change how I interacted with him, and hopefully, in some small way, make a difference in his life.

At my core, I want people to feel valued, seen, and heard when they interact with me. I believe we’re all doing the best we can, and if we knew a better way, we’d take it. But in my frustration with Joe, I wasn’t living from that belief. Andrew’s insight helped me recalibrate and remember what really matters.

So, I share this with you because this is a shared human experience. The way we speak about people shapes how others see them. Just like Tex was intentional about highlighting the best in people, we have that same power in our conversations.

My invitation to you today is this: Pay attention to how you talk about others. Are you framing them in an empowering or disempowering way? Our words influence how others perceive people, and ultimately, how we all engage with one another.

Joe is still Joe—he has his challenges, just like I do. But now, I see him differently. And if he knew another way to do things right now, he would.

I hope this resonated with you. This experience has been a great reminder for me to stay true to the person I want to be and how I want to engage with the world.

Thank you for being here. Thank you for being you, for being part of this community, and for being a learner. If you're here listening, you’re someone who wants to grow—whether as a business owner, a leader, or simply as a human being.

I acknowledge you for that. I think it's awesome, and I’m grateful to be on this journey with you.

Thanks for being here, and I look forward to seeing you next time on The Profit Builder Unscripted.