The Profit Builder Unscripted

Expectations vs. Agreements: A Leadership Lesson

• Vicki Suiter • Episode 18

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Have you ever felt frustrated when a team member didn't follow through on a task?

After recently experiencing this myself, I had an "aha" moment about why this happens and how to prevent it.

Last week, I asked someone on my team to complete a task by Wednesday. When the deadline came and went without completion, I felt anxious and disappointed. As I reflected on the situation, I realized that I had made a request, but we never established a clear agreement.

I remembered a podcast by well-known coach, Steve Chandler, titled "Expectations vs. Agreements," which emphasizes how crucial it is to create specific, measurable agreements instead of relying on vague expectations.

There really is a distinction, even with employees – you’ll be amazed at how well it works!

If you’re facing similar issues in your team dynamics, listen to this episode, and make sure to grab the link to Steve’s podcast in the show notes!

When you start implementing this more accountable approach to making agreement, you’ll see improved communication and follow-through in your projects!

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Steve Chandler's podcast, "Expectations vs. Agreements"

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If you love listening to this podcast, please leave a review in Apple Podcasts.


welcome back to another episode of The Profit Builder unscripted today we're talking about how do you get people to follow through and keep their agreements and do what they say they're going to do all right let's jump[Music] in have you ever had the experience where you ask somebody to do something on your team and then they didn't do it they didn't follow through and you were disappointed or upset yeah you probably said yes we' all had that experience at some point in their lives and you know last week I had this experience with somebody on my team and uh I just felt compelled to share with you my like aha moment about what I remembered about why that happens and what I remembered about how to not have that happen again in the future so I'll tell you the story the situation was somebody on my team that I had I had asked to do something a while ago and then there was they didn't do it and then it came up close to the deadline last week and I sent an email on Monday and I was like this really needs to be get done by Wednesday uh please make sure that it gets done Wednesday came Wednesday went it didn't get done and it finally did get done by the end of the week but it was like there was just this like kind of angst about it I didn't want to chase after her but then you know I I started to look at it we were about to meet on that following Monday and I started to think about all right what's the source of this breakdown what happened that and this is somebody that you know this isn't somebody who's flaky this is somebody who I you know I trust and so it especially and and I usually can really count on to like follow through do what they say they're going to do so it really struck me that um that this breakdown had happened and I asked myself the question thankfully before I got on that phone call because you know we get a little miffed when people don't do what they say they're going to do but that was the trick that was the key right there I thought because I made a request it meant that she made an agreement and this is what I remembered I didn't actually have an agreement I made a request and I said would you get this done by this date it was on the list of projects but it didn't have a by when date so she never broke an agreement with me because she never actually made an agreement with me in the first place now you might be listening to this and you might be thinking well that's just crazy we can't like get people we don't like should we have people always make agreements about everything that they're supposed to do when they work for us we pay them a paycheck that's what they get paid for yes and no um and here's the you know many years ago I I listened to this podcast by by a gentleman very well-known well respected coach by the name of Steve Chandler and the title of this podcast was expectations versus agreements and how do we start to function in our relationships with other people and particularly people on our team from a place of actually getting agreement versus expectations now I if I asked you do you like it when people expect things of you you would probably say no no no none of us do like we would much prefer somebody actually make a request of us but when it comes to our employees we think well you get paid to do a job I pay you you do what I tell you to do and here's the problem though is that when we're when we have agreements we're much more likely to actually follow through and I'm going to talk in a second about how do you make agreements that are that are more likely to get follow through but but um when we when they're kind of open-ended when they're veiled demands we we think we make agreements right because we say will you do something and we think that's an agreement or you know everybody's sitting in a meeting and says well you know I'm going to do this or I'm going to do that we think it's an agreement but it's not really agreement until somebody until we actually have an exchange with somebody that sounds something like this so in the example of this person on my team what would have been much more useful when we originally set the deadline date and it wasn't originally something that was urgent until it was but I did not have a specific agreement it was just sort of on this list of things to do and what happens when we have a list of things to do without a deadline then they tend to not get done in the time frame that we think they should get done or sometimes not at all but the thing I realized with her was that I didn't stop and say especially when I saw there was a problem that that last week I didn't stop and say hey um can we just chat for a minute I really need this done by Wednesday are you willing to get this done by Wednesday can you get this done by Wednesday or how can you get this done by Wednesday are you willing to do that whatever those words are I didn't do that I just flung an email that said hey I really need this done by Wednesday and then it didn't happen because I didn't have an agreement and again I know like you're probably thinking gosh like it's employee and we should have an agreement that if I pay you and I ask you to do something you do it but if you want people to follow through and you want people to do things more consistently then making agreements that are specific and explicit are much more likely to get you the the results that you're looking for so it reminded me of this U there's this term and maybe you've heard this term of smart agreements so smart Agreements are they're specific they're measurable there's clear accountability it's realistic and it's time driven so let me talk about each of those so specific meaning in my example of I needed I needed dates updated in our program portal and that was specific it was a specific What U measurable I would have known it got done because it was um you know it would have been updated in the portal that was measurable it either got done or it didn't um it's uh agreed upon so this is where this was the missing piece I didn't have an agreed upon uh agreement about it getting done by a specific time so I got an agreement she would do it right and then realistic the time frame was realistic right real real unrealistic expectations are or Agreements are you know you ask somebody to follow up on a change order and they say yeah I'll do that tomorrow and you're like now you're going to be out tomorrow I know that's not going to happen so that's not realistic right so is it realistic do you really think that person can do that and then really key this is the last one this was the thing that was missing for me was time driven like I did not get a specific agreement about when that was actually going to get done so without you know what I know in my experience and I've seen this over and over again with people and leaders that I work with and certainly my experience in my life is that when I get agreements that are specific measurable there's clear accountability and they're agreed upon they're realistic and they're time driven I am much more likely to get the results that I actually am requesting and um I I'll give you another example this is a classic one that happens you're in the middle of a meeting and uh everybody like uh says I'm GNA do this I'm gonna do that or a couple people you know jump in and they say well we'll take care of that I love that term we'll take care of that what does that mean so like getting specific at that point what is taking care of it mean if it if it's this really big chunk of something that you know that um they're not going to be able to get that whole thing done or it's not specific enough you chunk it down so that it's a little bit smaller piece what is taking care of it look like well the first piece let's say it's a change order right I'm going to take care of that change order so is the first piece that you're going to write it up and send it to the client is taking care of it mean I got the change order done but I don't have a signature I need to go get a signature ature is taking care of it like what is taking care of it is it specific measurable it's got to be measurable by you and by them the more specific and measurable it is the more you are setting that person up to win and you don't have to be in a fog about well I thought this and you thought that right so it gets us on the same page about what does that actually mean to get something done and then um let's say you have three people on your team who say they're going to do something is the a is is there clear accountability right you go well who's going to take ownership of that who's going to make sure that that thing gets done that the three of you are going to work on really important um realistic again realistic is they say well we're going to have it done by tomorrow and you're like I don't think that's possible let's rethink this you have other things going on or you're not going to be here whatever right like but be willing to stop and question that and then of course time driven makes all the difference in the world about those agreements that we make and and so one of the things that is a is a practice that I have that I didn't do when I was in this meeting with this person on my team that I've remembered that I will do which is um at the end of every meeting we capture like what everybody's agreed to do right key deliverables the what and then we capture The Who and the by when so who's going to do it and by when are they going to do it and again I'm very I try to be super mindful of is it specific is it measurable so um what I find is when when I and I see other people manage meetings like this and and make requests to people like this that there's a much greater likelihood of actually people following through and doing what they say they're going to do keeping their agreement M ments and I make it a habit of and I I'll tell you this takes a little bit of extra time at the end of a meeting where um I like have to stop and go okay just so that we're all on the same page here's what I said here's what I heard you said and here's what I heard you said you were going to do that by or this isn't a pressure question but when do you think that you'll have that done so that you and I are on the same page about when that will get done um I I tell you what I do this with clients I do this with my team um I've had people I remember I'll never forget I had a designer a senior designer I was teaching this uh this workshop on this with a company and the senior designer said I don't think it's going to work I deal with clients all the time and they're so indecisive I'm having a hard time getting them to make decisions I don't think I can do this I said well just try it try the whole thing of getting like making sure it's a smart agreement specific measurable clear accountability realistic and time driven and then ask her just at the end of when you've confirmed all that say is that acceptable to you does that work for you can you have that done by then will you have that done by that and he was like I I'll try it but I don't think it's going to work he called me three days later he goes oh my gosh he said the next day I did that I had the deadline for with this client that I really wanted I've been trying to get her to make a decision about this thing and I used that strategy and I made a smart agreement and she did it she followed through so he said you you made me a convert so just try it right see if it works I'm actually also dropping a link below to the recording by Steve called expectations versus agreements it's about a 30 minute podcast I've listened to this cast dozens of times I have to tell you I get something different out of it every time um I've gotten stuff out of it as it relates to my relationship and my communication with my husband my kids my team my clients like I just find that there's always something for me to learn in terms of how do I how do I build better communication in my relationships with all the people in my life so you might find it to be helpful um the first time I listened to it it was a during a very challenging moment with one of my kids and I was like oh this is so great and it and I totally applied that strategy and I got her to start having this different behavior and also I got to notice how I was operating out of expectation with her that was not useful um so listen to it I like I said I've had I I share this recording with so many people um I think I think a lot of Steve Chandler he's a great coach and I just think his message is just so spoton and and I I hear stories as recently as yesterday from a client who applied it and went wow it really made a difference in the communication they had with a foreman on their team so uh give it a shot and I hope this has been helpful to you and I look forward to seeing you next time on the profit Builder unscripted

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Vicki Suiter

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