Words That Shape Us: Insights from The Four Agreements

I just wrapped up another episode of The Profit Builder Unscripted, and I can't wait to share it with you!

This time, we're diving into something that's been on my mind a lot lately: How Our Thoughts Shape Our Lives.

Ever catch yourself with that little critic in your head telling you you're not enough?

Yeah, me too!

This episode, I explore how these inner voices affect everything from our self-esteem to our relationships and achievements.

I share some personal stories and insights that have really made me rethink the conversations I have—not just with others but with myself too.

Hope this episode gives you something to chew on and maybe even helps shift how you think about those little chats you have with yourself.

Can't wait to hear what you think!

Resources:

• Want to increase your profitability? Grab my book “The Profit Bleed.“
• Looking to grow your construction business? Check out our exclusive group "The Contractors Collective.”
• Want employees to take more ownership? Check out our course - “Build Your Dream Team.”
• Are you struggling to hire the right people? Check out our “Contractors Hiring Blueprint” course.

Connect with Vicki on social media:

• YouTube: Vicki Suiter
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/vickisuiter
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Transcript

0:00

welcome back to the prophit Builder unscripted today we're talking a little bit uh on a different topic today we're talking about how do our thoughts influence our behavior and how does that influence us being able to have the life that we desire all right let's jump[Music] in have you ever noticed there's a little voice inside of our head that seems to want to tell us often how we're not doing things right or we're not doing things as good as somebody else or we're not perfect or we could have done better or like that we're always looking for and seeking out how it is that we are not enough and I've been thinking about this for a long while and interestingly enough as this thought has been sort of percolating through my head I've been thinking about you know what is it that is is behind all of that and you know and I've spent a lot of time in my life on a my own personal transformation Journey I've done lots of courses and trainings and you know I listen to to coaches and and inspirational people about like how do you change your thinking change your life right like probably a lot of us have heard that expression and you know the thing that I've come to realize is that it is a process it's a journey and I I don't think that we're ever like finished with it but I think that the more we can bring intentionality to paying attention to the thoughts that we have that run us day in and day out can really have a dramatic impact in terms of the quality of our lives and the quality of our relationships that we have with other people and um so you know I realized for myself that it's kind of this process of am I doing things that are bringing a awareness to my thoughts awareness to my behavior awareness to my engagements with others in a way that has me just be conscious and thoughtful of what am I doing is this creating the experience that I want is is what I'm is what I'm saying or thinking forwarding getting me to where I want to go or is it just stopping me is it creating a negative dialogue that isn't really serving me and and uh a couple of months ago I ricked up the book The Four Agreements by Miguel ruse now I'd read the book many years ago and I I I don't know what what prompted me to pick it up again I'd just been thinking about it and and as I read it uh I realized that you know his his Four Agreements well I and I will tell you that I don't I don't love the way the book's written um I I think that he uses some kind of like weird words to describe the challenges that we have as human beings in terms of um finding our true selves but I but his message um has been really great for me to be mindful about what is the internal dialogue I have so let me tell you the Four Agreements The First Agreement is be impeccable with your word the second agreement is don't take anything personally the third agreement is don't make assumptions and the fourth agreement is do your best that's what you can do and The First Agreement be impeccable with your word I have walked around for many years thinking hey be impeccable with your word is do what you say you're going to do keep your agreements um follow through when you say you're going to do something do what you say you know and and have integrity in your word and while it does mean that the thing that kind of blew my mind when I reread the book this time was that it really when he talked about being impeccable with your word is it starts with how we are with ourselves our own internal dialogue and the words that we use towards ourselves that are either empowering or disempowering and the more that we're critical of ourselves we tend to be more critical of other people and that a lot of times you know even as he starts to talk about don't take things personally he makes the point that you know when somebody says something to us if it's not on our radar to already be critical of ourselves about something we won't hear it as critical if we're not already being critical of ourselves and the third agreement about don't make assumptions really like all three of those sort of tie into each other about how often do we assume that we understand what somebody means or what they you know or what their intent is or we assuming that we know because we're just focused on what we think or our point of view or our perspective and you know one of the other things that he talks about is that there's so many times when we make assumptions about how we interpret what somebody means instead of asking questions and so you know those first three things have really you know as I've read the book and I've actually gone through it twice and kind of underlined some stuff because it's not things that you and I don't know you know a lot of those are things that we know intellectually but what it's made me do is really stop and notice when I'm in a you know I'm in a conversation and I start to take something personally to go oh that's just that's really maybe that's just my stuff about myself why do I have that self why am I being you know as critical of myself or dep self-deprecating why am I um judging myself in that way and sort of turning it around instead of assuming that I know what their intent is realizing if I take it personally maybe it's my own internal dialogue that is getting in my way um or my own self-critic that is really the point and really the issue which comes back to this thought that I've been having for a while now about how often does our own internal self-critic cause problems in our relationship ship with other people or how does it you know how does it create issues in terms of getting in the way of us being able to accomplish what we want in our lives and in our businesses and and even in a you know a sales conversation or in a conversation with an employee like are we are we really being mindful of appreciating what we're bringing to the conversation or are we second guessing guessing ourselves a lot are we um hesitating are we being critical of ourselves before we walk into a conversation so it it um that whole thing I just I mean I wanted to share it if you haven't read the book uh like I said I don't love the way that it's written in some ways it's not a very long book but I love the message and the message itself is the thing that's had me be really mindful of what's my internal dialogue what's my selft talk and am I taking things personally when I really don't need to take them personally like that's that other person's stuff sometimes right or am I um really making assumptions about what I understand somebody to say and maybe I just need to stop and ask more questions and I love that last one because I think that happens a lot of times in our relationships with other people or employees our spouses our kids our friends like do we really know our clients do we really understand what they mean or are we making assumptions that we understand what they mean and maybe what's helpful is if we stop and we ask more questions um so I just wanted to share that with you today because I thought it was really it's like I said it's really been influencing how I'm thinking and how I'm kind of moving through the world and and really noticing more about my engagements with other people but also noticing my internal a lot my internal dialogue and um and making me stop and pause and maybe take a different approach and a different tact or just taking a breath and going okay well is that really true and I think that's a really useful question is asking ourselves is it really true or maybe not and I think it makes us pause and really Ponder for a moment before we jump in and assume so I'm going to share a a quote that I thought about too that I love by Margaret Thatcher and um it's a it's a great quote that I've I've kept on my wall for years and it and it says watch your thoughts for they become your words and watch your words for they become your actions watch your actions for they become your habits and watch your habits for they become your character and watch your character for they become for it becomes your destiny again that's by Margaret Thatcher and basically her point is what we think we become so I hope this is maybe giving you pause for thought today and I look forward to seeing you next time on the prophet Builder unscripted